Well, maybe replace "Flanders" with "Blackhawks", and "Sexy" with "Fucking". That pretty much sums up how I feel today. Mercifully, with 20 Cent's goal, the 2009-2010 NHL season comes to a close. I forced myself to watch that game last night, and although the team I dreaded winning did, at least I didn't have to hear that fucking "Chelsea Dagger" song. So ends the longest Stanley Cup drought in the NHL: Toronto Maple Leafs, come on down!
So let's see: the Chicago Blackhawks are Stanley Cup Champions. Oy. Since I live here, that means a whole summer of brand new "Champions" shirts and hats to replace the brand new Hawks shirts most of these brand new fans purchased in April when they realized they were Hawk fans. My Facebook page exploded, and I've received 4 emails this morning (it's about 7:30) confirming what I thought was a bad dream.
What a weird series. I think someone said this was the worst series ever for goaltending. Well, I thought about that, and here are the stats for each goalie, courtesy of NHL.COM:
Michael Leighton - 2-4, 20 GA (in 6 games), .876 SV%, 3.96 GAA
Antti Niemi - 4-2, 21 GA (again, in 6 games), .882 SV%, 3.41 GAA.
Folks, those are your Stanley Cup goaltenders. Just awful, eh? You know who is the happiest about these numbers? Stan Bowman. Niemi is an RFA, and usually Stanley Cup-winning goalies get a bit of a raise in the off-season. However, goalies that actually hinder their team's chances of winning tend to have that raise reduced significantly. Niemi didn't exactly play himself into huge money just yet. I think the torch was just passed for "Worst Goalie to Win A Cup". Oh, and to any Red Wing fan who isn't mad enough yet, consider this: Tomas Kopecky now has his name on the Cup more times than Henrik Zetterberg. And to make matters worse, no longer can we make jokes about Marian Hossa not winning. This is the world we live in, folks.
Before OT started, on Twitter, I posted a message to the Hockey Gods. The message was that if the Blackhawks were going to win, I wanted anyone except Kane or Byfuglien to score the winner. Obviously, I have done something to piss off the Gods, because not 2 minutes later, Kane head faked enough times that I thought he was having a seizure, went down the wing and scored a goal that (surprise, surprise) Leighton should have had. What made this moment magical for me is that it touched off the worst Stanley Cup celebration in history. No one knew where the puck was, Kane is racing down the ice (did you see Niemi? He must have thought he was a cab driver that owed Kane some money the way Kane was coming after him), and the announcers were all probably saying "What the fuck is going on?" Then, there's a review, but one replay was all it took to confim it went in. It was like Jason Biggs in American Pie when Shannon Elizabeth is in his room and he blows his wad too early. I really stopped watching after that, because I had better things to do, like scoop the dog poo out of the backyard.
Speaking of 20 Cent, why oh why did it have to be him? Let me get this straight; in the same year that Sidney Crosby scores the GWG in OT in the Olympics, Patrick Kane scores the GWG in OT in the Stanley Cup Finals. I think I am going to start punching babies in the face and kicking puppies, because being a douchebag is obviously paying off. He scored the worst Stanley Cup winning goal ever (and that includes Zetterberg's off-Fleury's-butt goal in Game 6 in 2008), and then after the game, when talking with ESPN, he says something like "I hope the girls like me more now". You know what Kane? Fuck you, you fucking cocky twat-bag. He is the kind of dipshit that starts a band because he wants to get laid, but his music sucks and he doesn't care (for JJ from Kansas, if you read this: his band name is "Pronger's Beard Elbows"). And we've seen the kind of chicks you hang out with. There is no justice in the world. Basically, every fuck-stick in the NHL (Pronger, Perry, Crosby, Kane) has now won a Cup. I don't want to live in a world where Patrick Kane is anyone's hero.
There are some people for whom this Cup win doesn't make me seethe with rage. I'm on record as saying I like Jonathan Toews and Duncan Keith, and if the team had more players like those two on there, I might not hate the Hawks with the fervour that I do. I see Toews as an Yzerman-type leader, and he has won everything there is to win so far. I wonder if there is any way we could trade for him? I'm happy for fans like my old boss and my current boss; both of these women were fans before it was cool to be fans. I'm somewhat happy for the 12-13000 people who actually went to the games 5 years ago and can tell me that Jocelyn Thibault was the Hawks' goalie before the lockout. I am not happy with the 2 million new "fans" that are going to use the parade on Friday as an excuse to get out of work and will buy lots of new merchandise proclaiming the Hawks as champs, but will be using those same shirts as dust rags in 5 years when the Hawks suck again.
Well, if there's anything that makes me happy about this, it's knowing that this is not a dynasty in the making. This isn't the Penguins winning next year with most of their team locked up, creating what could have been a big run. This is a team that is in salary cap hell, and will very likely have to blow up their roster just to sign enough players to ice a whole team next year. So, Hawks, fans, say bye bye to guys like Patrick Sharp, Dustin Byfuglien, Kris Versteeg, Adam Burish and Antti Niemi. I hope you enjoyed seeing Cristobal Huet sit on the bench and get his name on the Cup for doing nothing except take up about 10% of your cap space, because that albatross you call his contract is not going anywhere. It must have been nice to see Hossa score 3 whole goals all post-season - good thing he's locked up for the next millenium. I didn't bother to check to see how Rockford did this year, but if I'm a Hawks fan, I hope it's good, because half of the roster are going to be AHL-ers. The Wings came within a whisker of winning the division last year with all of their injuries and call-ups; it will be interesting to see how the Hawks do without half of their depth players in the lineup (or as I call them, the Reason the Hawks won the Cup). Plus, as was pointed out on Twitter last night, the Hawks have won as many Cups in 84 years as the Wings have won in the last 13. So congrats on that.
To the Blackhawks, congratulations. You have shown that you are probably going to go down as the best One-And-Done Stanley Cup winning team in NHL history. I hope you enjoy being relegated to your rightful place of 2nd-best in the division next year. You see, that shiny silver trophy you have right now actually belongs to us; we're just lending it out to the rest of the league so they can get a taste for what it feels like to win before we take back what's ours. I'm looking forward to next year when the Hawks are the prey and the Wings their predator. It should make for a very interesting season. The only person happy last night in my house last night was my wife; no doors were punched or harmed in any way this year. At least that's something, right?
Showing posts with label Flyers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flyers. Show all posts
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Stanley Cup Finals Preview
Here we are. After a long season filled with ups and downs, lefts and rights and a even a few diagonals, we have finally arrived at the start of the last series of the NHL season. From the moment the puck dropped between the Leafs and Canadiens, every fan has hoped that they will see their team rise above all others to be crowned Stanley Cup champions. Out of 30 teams, 2 remain, and they will begin their battle for hockey supremacy starting tomorrow night in Chicago. So, without further ado (and because there's nothing going on with the Wings right now), here is THITD's preview of the Stanley Cup Finals.
Goaltending - Wow. What a matchup we have here. Not since Roy vs Brodeur in 2001 have we seen 2 heavyweights square off head-to-head. 2 high-draft picks leading their teams to the.....wait, what? Neither goalie was highly sought-after coming out of junior or out of Europe? But I thought in order to win a Stanley Cup a team needed a top prospect to get this far. Huh, shows what I know about hockey. In this series we've got the rookie Antti Niemi going against the journeyman Michael Leighton. Both goalies have played extremely well, but now we're at the Big Dance, and we'll see who can step it up. Both goalies are facing less than 30 shots per game (on average), but Philly is facing a team that is much better offensively than anyone they've played so far. Still, Philly has beaten Martin Brodeur, Tukka Rask (who would be a Calder candidate if he played all season) and Jaroslav Halak, so they know what it takes to score on a hot goalie. I'll give a slight edge to Niemi, because he looks like a Russian gangster, and if there's one thing movies and TV have taught me, it's that you don't piss off the Russian mafia.
Advantage - Chicago
Defense - This is a closer matchup than people think. Too many people are talking about Duncan Keith, Brent Seabrook and Chris "Bring Da Noise, Bring Da Elbows" Pronger. But if you look at the rest of Philly's defense, it reminds me a lot of Detroit's, but in reverse. They've got a shutdown guy in Pronger paired with a solid two-way guy in Timonen (who has surprised me with how good he is). Then you've got Braydon Coburn on the 2nd pairing (who apparently can not be stopped, no matter what happens to him) paired with an offensive guy in Matt Carle. How will they fare against the top lines of the Hawks? There is speed back there, and we all know that Pronger can handle himself. On the Hawks, beyond the obvious pairing of Keith and Seabrook (as an aside, I like Keith. I don't normally like Hawks players, but there's something about Keith and the way he plays that I respect. Plus, any guy that can lose 7 teeth and still come back is all right in my books), you've got the $7 million dollar man Brian Campbell paired with Hjalmarsson and greasy-haired Brent Sopel logging important minutes on the 3rd pairing. Campbell's been pretty invisible this playoffs, but not ineffective, so I guess that's something. Still, there's nothing like paying 12.5% of your salary cap to your #3 defenseman. Overall, I like Philly's defense over the Hawks. I think Pronger is a beast back there, and has provided a presence on the blue line of the Flyers that has not been there since Eric Desjardins. The only team that had anyone that could have matched up with Byfuglien size-wise was the Sharks, but Fugly is too big to ass-check down (I'm looking at you, Rob Blake). Pronger can take him. I hope he does, because I can't stand to see a guy score a goal from 2 feet in front of the net and then stare down the opposing fans like he just went around the whole team. Advantage: Philly
Forwards - I think this is where the Hawks have the edge. As much as I can't stand them, the Hawks boast a lot of talent up front. The top line of Toews, Kane and Byfugly is pretty much unstoppable right now, and if they do get shut down, then the Hawks can throw out Sharp, Hossa and Bolland or Madden, Versteeg and Ladd. It's a little scary when your third line can score. Plus, if someone goes down, they can always throw Tomas Kopecky out there, a dangerous proposition for the Flyers. If anything can put the fear of God in me, it's an angry Tomas Kopecky. Barring something different happening in the Finals, Toews is the front-runner for the Conn Smythe, and he's another Hawk that I actually don't mind. He's the kind of guy that I say "boy, I wish he was on another team". He was great for Canada in the Olympics and has continued his strong play into the playoffs. He would scare me if I were a Flyers fan. I would also be scared of Patrick "20 Cent" Kane, but only because anyone who willingly looks like this has some severe issues; next thing you know he'll be graduating to more violent behaviour. If I were the Flyers, I would keep my head up at all times when Kaner's on the ice. The nice thing for the Hawks is that, even though the team as a whole is pretty young, Hossa's been in the Finals enough to make up for everyone else's lack of experience ten-fold. My advice to the Hawks forwards: whatever Hossa says you guys need to do to win, do the opposite. I'm just sayin'.
The Flyers don't exactly have a bunch of houseleaguers on their team. They are led by Pierre McGuire's favourite "monster" Mike Richards, and if you want to talk about guys keeping their heads up; the Hawks will be well served to know exactly when Richards is on the ice at all times, lest they end up like some of these guys. The Flyers have had scoring for a few years, and now Jeff Carter and Simon Gagne are healthy, Daniel Briere is playing up to his contract and Daniel Carcillo is....well, he's doing something out there. Claude Giroux scored a couple of nice goals against the Canadiens, and then there's everyone's favourite son, Ville Leino. Given up for dead by the Wings because of salary cap issues, Leino has been re-born in Philly, actually playing like, you know, what we all thought he could be. You can't blame lack of talent around him for his struggles in Detroit, because he was playing with Henrik Fucking Zetterberg, and I could score 20 goals playing with Hank. Who knows what happened, but Uncle Mike clearly lost interest in fair Ville, and he was shuffled off to Philly. You know what? I feel good for him. Leino was a guy that was expected to put up decent numbers this year, but I know I wasn't thinking he was going to challenge for the Rocket Richard trophy. 15-20 goals, 40-50 points, that's what I wanted from him. But then Franzen got hurt, and everyone thought that Leino was just going to pick up the Mule's slack in his absence, and when he didn't, we all got pissed off and called him a bust. I don't think that was fair to Leino (look how long it took for Franzen to develop into the player he is today), but I also don't think the Wings "gave up" on Leino either. They had to get Lilja into the lineup, and that meant sacrificing a forward. Unfortunately, Leino had to go. However, Leino did suck balls here in Detroit, so I think a portion of his playoff bonus should be paid back to the Wings for wasting our time this year (and yes, I realize I completely contradicted myself by saying that I wasn't expecting much from him and then getting on his case for not producing). Advantage - Chicago
Coaching - The 'stache vs.....well, I don't really have a nickname for Laviolette. Joel Quenneville, while not able to ever beat Detroit in the playoffs (ever - look it up), has quietly become one of the better coaches in the NHL. I know a lot of people here were very surprised when he was hired to be the Hawks' coach last year, but he's done a good job at making the Hawks a cohesive unit. Sure, trying to figure out what his lines will be is as easy as figuring out
certain math problems. But Q has always struck me as a guy that got a lot out of his players, even if those players stunk. This is a guy that won a President's Trophy with Roman Turek as his goalie - clearly he's got some coaching talent. But, this is his first real kick at the can, as he's never coached in the Finals before, and he's going against a guy that took a largely underrated team (the Hurricanes) all the way in 2006 in Laviolette. I'll be honest - I don't know a lot about Laviolette, since I mostly pay attention to the Western Conference. I know he won the Cup in 2006, but that's about it. One thing struck me when checking him out, and that is that he took the Islanders to the playoffs. Clearly, if he can do that, he is some sort of coaching prodigy. He seems to be playing the part of Dan Bylsma this year - taking a talented-yet-underachieving team from the depths of the East all the way to the Finals. Given that he's had 19 starting goalies to work with this year, I'd say he's done a pretty good job. Advantage - Flyers
So, what does all that mean? I don't know. I'm horrible at picking series. I know I didn't post anything, but in the first round I went 5 for 8, in the second round I went 1 for 4, and in the third round I went 1 for 2 (the only team I have consistently gotten right is the Hawks). I've already given my opinion on who I am cheering for, but I never said who I thought would win. Much like with the Wings-Sharks series, my heart is leaning one way but my head is screaming something different. With the Wings, I went with my heart; I've learned my lesson. My official pick is Hawks in 6, only because I hope that if they do win the Cup, it's not in front of their legions of bandwagon fans. I've always lived by the old adage: hope for the best but for prepare for the worst. That pretty much sums up how I feel about this series.
Go Flyers!!
Goaltending - Wow. What a matchup we have here. Not since Roy vs Brodeur in 2001 have we seen 2 heavyweights square off head-to-head. 2 high-draft picks leading their teams to the.....wait, what? Neither goalie was highly sought-after coming out of junior or out of Europe? But I thought in order to win a Stanley Cup a team needed a top prospect to get this far. Huh, shows what I know about hockey. In this series we've got the rookie Antti Niemi going against the journeyman Michael Leighton. Both goalies have played extremely well, but now we're at the Big Dance, and we'll see who can step it up. Both goalies are facing less than 30 shots per game (on average), but Philly is facing a team that is much better offensively than anyone they've played so far. Still, Philly has beaten Martin Brodeur, Tukka Rask (who would be a Calder candidate if he played all season) and Jaroslav Halak, so they know what it takes to score on a hot goalie. I'll give a slight edge to Niemi, because he looks like a Russian gangster, and if there's one thing movies and TV have taught me, it's that you don't piss off the Russian mafia.
Advantage - Chicago
Defense - This is a closer matchup than people think. Too many people are talking about Duncan Keith, Brent Seabrook and Chris "Bring Da Noise, Bring Da Elbows" Pronger. But if you look at the rest of Philly's defense, it reminds me a lot of Detroit's, but in reverse. They've got a shutdown guy in Pronger paired with a solid two-way guy in Timonen (who has surprised me with how good he is). Then you've got Braydon Coburn on the 2nd pairing (who apparently can not be stopped, no matter what happens to him) paired with an offensive guy in Matt Carle. How will they fare against the top lines of the Hawks? There is speed back there, and we all know that Pronger can handle himself. On the Hawks, beyond the obvious pairing of Keith and Seabrook (as an aside, I like Keith. I don't normally like Hawks players, but there's something about Keith and the way he plays that I respect. Plus, any guy that can lose 7 teeth and still come back is all right in my books), you've got the $7 million dollar man Brian Campbell paired with Hjalmarsson and greasy-haired Brent Sopel logging important minutes on the 3rd pairing. Campbell's been pretty invisible this playoffs, but not ineffective, so I guess that's something. Still, there's nothing like paying 12.5% of your salary cap to your #3 defenseman. Overall, I like Philly's defense over the Hawks. I think Pronger is a beast back there, and has provided a presence on the blue line of the Flyers that has not been there since Eric Desjardins. The only team that had anyone that could have matched up with Byfuglien size-wise was the Sharks, but Fugly is too big to ass-check down (I'm looking at you, Rob Blake). Pronger can take him. I hope he does, because I can't stand to see a guy score a goal from 2 feet in front of the net and then stare down the opposing fans like he just went around the whole team. Advantage: Philly
Forwards - I think this is where the Hawks have the edge. As much as I can't stand them, the Hawks boast a lot of talent up front. The top line of Toews, Kane and Byfugly is pretty much unstoppable right now, and if they do get shut down, then the Hawks can throw out Sharp, Hossa and Bolland or Madden, Versteeg and Ladd. It's a little scary when your third line can score. Plus, if someone goes down, they can always throw Tomas Kopecky out there, a dangerous proposition for the Flyers. If anything can put the fear of God in me, it's an angry Tomas Kopecky. Barring something different happening in the Finals, Toews is the front-runner for the Conn Smythe, and he's another Hawk that I actually don't mind. He's the kind of guy that I say "boy, I wish he was on another team". He was great for Canada in the Olympics and has continued his strong play into the playoffs. He would scare me if I were a Flyers fan. I would also be scared of Patrick "20 Cent" Kane, but only because anyone who willingly looks like this has some severe issues; next thing you know he'll be graduating to more violent behaviour. If I were the Flyers, I would keep my head up at all times when Kaner's on the ice. The nice thing for the Hawks is that, even though the team as a whole is pretty young, Hossa's been in the Finals enough to make up for everyone else's lack of experience ten-fold. My advice to the Hawks forwards: whatever Hossa says you guys need to do to win, do the opposite. I'm just sayin'.
The Flyers don't exactly have a bunch of houseleaguers on their team. They are led by Pierre McGuire's favourite "monster" Mike Richards, and if you want to talk about guys keeping their heads up; the Hawks will be well served to know exactly when Richards is on the ice at all times, lest they end up like some of these guys. The Flyers have had scoring for a few years, and now Jeff Carter and Simon Gagne are healthy, Daniel Briere is playing up to his contract and Daniel Carcillo is....well, he's doing something out there. Claude Giroux scored a couple of nice goals against the Canadiens, and then there's everyone's favourite son, Ville Leino. Given up for dead by the Wings because of salary cap issues, Leino has been re-born in Philly, actually playing like, you know, what we all thought he could be. You can't blame lack of talent around him for his struggles in Detroit, because he was playing with Henrik Fucking Zetterberg, and I could score 20 goals playing with Hank. Who knows what happened, but Uncle Mike clearly lost interest in fair Ville, and he was shuffled off to Philly. You know what? I feel good for him. Leino was a guy that was expected to put up decent numbers this year, but I know I wasn't thinking he was going to challenge for the Rocket Richard trophy. 15-20 goals, 40-50 points, that's what I wanted from him. But then Franzen got hurt, and everyone thought that Leino was just going to pick up the Mule's slack in his absence, and when he didn't, we all got pissed off and called him a bust. I don't think that was fair to Leino (look how long it took for Franzen to develop into the player he is today), but I also don't think the Wings "gave up" on Leino either. They had to get Lilja into the lineup, and that meant sacrificing a forward. Unfortunately, Leino had to go. However, Leino did suck balls here in Detroit, so I think a portion of his playoff bonus should be paid back to the Wings for wasting our time this year (and yes, I realize I completely contradicted myself by saying that I wasn't expecting much from him and then getting on his case for not producing). Advantage - Chicago
Coaching - The 'stache vs.....well, I don't really have a nickname for Laviolette. Joel Quenneville, while not able to ever beat Detroit in the playoffs (ever - look it up), has quietly become one of the better coaches in the NHL. I know a lot of people here were very surprised when he was hired to be the Hawks' coach last year, but he's done a good job at making the Hawks a cohesive unit. Sure, trying to figure out what his lines will be is as easy as figuring out
certain math problems. But Q has always struck me as a guy that got a lot out of his players, even if those players stunk. This is a guy that won a President's Trophy with Roman Turek as his goalie - clearly he's got some coaching talent. But, this is his first real kick at the can, as he's never coached in the Finals before, and he's going against a guy that took a largely underrated team (the Hurricanes) all the way in 2006 in Laviolette. I'll be honest - I don't know a lot about Laviolette, since I mostly pay attention to the Western Conference. I know he won the Cup in 2006, but that's about it. One thing struck me when checking him out, and that is that he took the Islanders to the playoffs. Clearly, if he can do that, he is some sort of coaching prodigy. He seems to be playing the part of Dan Bylsma this year - taking a talented-yet-underachieving team from the depths of the East all the way to the Finals. Given that he's had 19 starting goalies to work with this year, I'd say he's done a pretty good job. Advantage - Flyers
So, what does all that mean? I don't know. I'm horrible at picking series. I know I didn't post anything, but in the first round I went 5 for 8, in the second round I went 1 for 4, and in the third round I went 1 for 2 (the only team I have consistently gotten right is the Hawks). I've already given my opinion on who I am cheering for, but I never said who I thought would win. Much like with the Wings-Sharks series, my heart is leaning one way but my head is screaming something different. With the Wings, I went with my heart; I've learned my lesson. My official pick is Hawks in 6, only because I hope that if they do win the Cup, it's not in front of their legions of bandwagon fans. I've always lived by the old adage: hope for the best but for prepare for the worst. That pretty much sums up how I feel about this series.
Go Flyers!!
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