Monday Musings

I was going to put something up on Friday, but couldn't find an "F" word that meant thoughts or opinions without going online, and then I got distracted by something else and....well, let's just say it wasn't going to happen. But, it's Monday afternoon and some stuff has gone down in the last few days that I need to talk about.

Brett Lebda Signs with Maple Leafs - Look, we all had a good laugh when we heard the Leafs had signed Lebda. As I said on Twitter that day, I have nothing against the guy. He was a serviceable fifth or sixth defenseman who didn't do anything particularly well except skate fast and pinch at inopportune times. It's the money: I can't believe that anyone would give that amount of money to Brett freaking Lebda. $1.45M a year for 2 years? Laughable. But what was even funnier for me after the signing was the comments he made to the Toronto Star:

As far as us making the playoffs, and making noise in the playoffs, I found a good mix in that and being able to meet the personal goals I’ve set for myself,” said Lebda, reached by phone at his home in Wonder Lake, Ill. “I’d like to get more ice time. I’d like to contribute more.

“In Detroit, I was more of a depth defenceman, and right now, that’s how the hockey world sees me. I’d kind of like to change that, and be a four or five guy, and contribute more to the team, in special teams, in key situations.”

He played 15 minutes a game as a third pairing defenseman. I'm not sure exactly what he is thinking he can contribute other than drunken antics with inanimate objects, hilarity for Leaf fans, and chips and salsa for the rest of the healthy scratches. It's a shame that he was stuck behind such lame players like Nicklas Lidstrom, Brian Rafalski, Niklas Kronwall and Brad Stuart. Now he gets to play with such brilliant defensemen like Dion "Sloppy Seconds" Phaneuf and Mike Komisarek. Good luck Brett!

Mike Modano's Continued Wooing: Is anyone else getting pretty tired of this shit? Look, Mike, I'd like to see you as a Wing. I think you'd be a good fit. But if you're going to dick the team around, then just take your shit to San Jose and enjoy being a part of yet another epic playoff failure. I've said before that I would like him in Detroit; just not at the expense of players like Darren Helm and Justin Abdelkader. Those 2 guys may not be superstars, but they are quality depth players who have bought into the system in place and will be good for years. They could be big reasons why the Wings have the 3rd and 4th lines that keep them contending for Cups every year. Cups are not won and lost with the superstars; it's the role players chipping in key goals and eating up important minutes, maybe with a big penalty kill or a strong shift when momentum is lacking. I don't think Helm is going to score 40 goals a year; but we all remember his monster shift against Chicago in the WCF in 2009, and that's the type of play that wins championships. I do not want the Wings to give up important players to get him; that's what I have always maintained. But if he feels that he could get more money, then good luck to him. I've always respected and liked him as a player, and that won't change. I just want him to make up his damn mind and get on with it (and don't even get me started on Kovalchuk. Good gravy, he's like the prettiest stripper; everyone knows he's the best one, but you have to look at who you're being compared to).

The Ongoing Saga of the Chicago Blackhawks - We here at THITD (and by "we", I mean me in the royal sense) have not really commented on the happenings of the local NHL team. It started with the trading of Dustin Byfuglien, Brent Sopel and Ben Eager to the Thrashers. Then it was Kris Versteeg to the Leafs. Then Andrew Ladd went to the Thrashers (I guess Atlanta's thought is that if you can't beat them, then get all their players that looked good playing along side superstars). Then, in the best development yet, the Sharks signed Niklas Hjalmarsson to an offer sheet of $16M over 4 years (cap hit of $3.5M), which the Hawks matched today. As it stands right now, the Hawks have just over $100K in cap space, and we are still waiting for Niemi's arbitration date to see how much he gets. The Hawks also still don't have a full roster, even with the little cap space they have. Excuse me for a second.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Whew, I needed that.

A lot of people are pointing at Stan Bowman and saying that he is screwing this all up. I say to those people: what was he supposed to do? He was put in salary cap hell by Tallon with the ridiculous contracts to Huet and Campbell, then he had to sign the big 3 of Kane, Toews and Keith. Now we all get to sit back as this team that less than a month ago was on top of the world is dismantled to a shell of itself. And to any Hawks fans who read this, understand one thing: none of the players that are coming in are going to be as good as the guys that left. That's what makes this so funny. We all know they're going to bury Huet in the minors to get some cap space. Even with that happening, this team will not be as good as they were, and now there's talk that Marian Hossa, Brian Campbell and/or Patrick Sharp could be traded to make room. Personally, I think it would be awesome if Hossa got banished to the Islanders or the Panthers and he never comes close to a Cup again, especially the way he did absolutely dick-all to win for the Hawks. I would also like to see Sharp moved, but not because I dislike him; I actually respect him as a player, and I think losing him would hurt the Hawks more than any other departed player has so far this off-season. And anything that hurts the Hawks (and conversely, helps the Wings) brings a smile to my face.

I will say this: in light of all of the recent events (Lebda, Modano, Hjalmarsson and the rest of the ex-Hawks), I am fucking ecstatic that we have Ken Holland as a GM. Yes, we're all still a little miffed at the Bertuzzi signing. But think about this: would you rather we be slightly perturbed at that, or apoplectic that half of our team has been traded? Or that he signed a depth defenseman for almost as much money as Bertuzzi is making? He's made his pitch to Modano, and if Mikey doesn't feel it's worth it, then buh-bye; we'll just sign Helm and Abby, get a depth defenseman, and get back to dominating the division like normal. He was able to sign Drew Miller and Patrick Eaves to decent deals, with more than enough money to finish his shopping. In Kenny We Trust.

Stupid Sexy Flanders

Well, maybe replace "Flanders" with "Blackhawks", and "Sexy" with "Fucking". That pretty much sums up how I feel today. Mercifully, with 20 Cent's goal, the 2009-2010 NHL season comes to a close. I forced myself to watch that game last night, and although the team I dreaded winning did, at least I didn't have to hear that fucking "Chelsea Dagger" song. So ends the longest Stanley Cup drought in the NHL: Toronto Maple Leafs, come on down!

So let's see: the Chicago Blackhawks are Stanley Cup Champions. Oy. Since I live here, that means a whole summer of brand new "Champions" shirts and hats to replace the brand new Hawks shirts most of these brand new fans purchased in April when they realized they were Hawk fans. My Facebook page exploded, and I've received 4 emails this morning (it's about 7:30) confirming what I thought was a bad dream.

What a weird series. I think someone said this was the worst series ever for goaltending. Well, I thought about that, and here are the stats for each goalie, courtesy of NHL.COM:
Michael Leighton - 2-4, 20 GA (in 6 games), .876 SV%, 3.96 GAA
Antti Niemi - 4-2, 21 GA (again, in 6 games), .882 SV%, 3.41 GAA.

Folks, those are your Stanley Cup goaltenders. Just awful, eh? You know who is the happiest about these numbers? Stan Bowman. Niemi is an RFA, and usually Stanley Cup-winning goalies get a bit of a raise in the off-season. However, goalies that actually hinder their team's chances of winning tend to have that raise reduced significantly. Niemi didn't exactly play himself into huge money just yet. I think the torch was just passed for "Worst Goalie to Win A Cup". Oh, and to any Red Wing fan who isn't mad enough yet, consider this: Tomas Kopecky now has his name on the Cup more times than Henrik Zetterberg. And to make matters worse, no longer can we make jokes about Marian Hossa not winning. This is the world we live in, folks.

Before OT started, on Twitter, I posted a message to the Hockey Gods. The message was that if the Blackhawks were going to win, I wanted anyone except Kane or Byfuglien to score the winner. Obviously, I have done something to piss off the Gods, because not 2 minutes later, Kane head faked enough times that I thought he was having a seizure, went down the wing and scored a goal that (surprise, surprise) Leighton should have had. What made this moment magical for me is that it touched off the worst Stanley Cup celebration in history. No one knew where the puck was, Kane is racing down the ice (did you see Niemi? He must have thought he was a cab driver that owed Kane some money the way Kane was coming after him), and the announcers were all probably saying "What the fuck is going on?" Then, there's a review, but one replay was all it took to confim it went in. It was like Jason Biggs in American Pie when Shannon Elizabeth is in his room and he blows his wad too early. I really stopped watching after that, because I had better things to do, like scoop the dog poo out of the backyard.

Speaking of 20 Cent, why oh why did it have to be him? Let me get this straight; in the same year that Sidney Crosby scores the GWG in OT in the Olympics, Patrick Kane scores the GWG in OT in the Stanley Cup Finals. I think I am going to start punching babies in the face and kicking puppies, because being a douchebag is obviously paying off. He scored the worst Stanley Cup winning goal ever (and that includes Zetterberg's off-Fleury's-butt goal in Game 6 in 2008), and then after the game, when talking with ESPN, he says something like "I hope the girls like me more now". You know what Kane? Fuck you, you fucking cocky twat-bag. He is the kind of dipshit that starts a band because he wants to get laid, but his music sucks and he doesn't care (for JJ from Kansas, if you read this: his band name is "Pronger's Beard Elbows"). And we've seen the kind of chicks you hang out with. There is no justice in the world. Basically, every fuck-stick in the NHL (Pronger, Perry, Crosby, Kane) has now won a Cup. I don't want to live in a world where Patrick Kane is anyone's hero.

There are some people for whom this Cup win doesn't make me seethe with rage. I'm on record as saying I like Jonathan Toews and Duncan Keith, and if the team had more players like those two on there, I might not hate the Hawks with the fervour that I do. I see Toews as an Yzerman-type leader, and he has won everything there is to win so far. I wonder if there is any way we could trade for him? I'm happy for fans like my old boss and my current boss; both of these women were fans before it was cool to be fans. I'm somewhat happy for the 12-13000 people who actually went to the games 5 years ago and can tell me that Jocelyn Thibault was the Hawks' goalie before the lockout. I am not happy with the 2 million new "fans" that are going to use the parade on Friday as an excuse to get out of work and will buy lots of new merchandise proclaiming the Hawks as champs, but will be using those same shirts as dust rags in 5 years when the Hawks suck again.

Well, if there's anything that makes me happy about this, it's knowing that this is not a dynasty in the making. This isn't the Penguins winning next year with most of their team locked up, creating what could have been a big run. This is a team that is in salary cap hell, and will very likely have to blow up their roster just to sign enough players to ice a whole team next year. So, Hawks, fans, say bye bye to guys like Patrick Sharp, Dustin Byfuglien, Kris Versteeg, Adam Burish and Antti Niemi. I hope you enjoyed seeing Cristobal Huet sit on the bench and get his name on the Cup for doing nothing except take up about 10% of your cap space, because that albatross you call his contract is not going anywhere. It must have been nice to see Hossa score 3 whole goals all post-season - good thing he's locked up for the next millenium. I didn't bother to check to see how Rockford did this year, but if I'm a Hawks fan, I hope it's good, because half of the roster are going to be AHL-ers. The Wings came within a whisker of winning the division last year with all of their injuries and call-ups; it will be interesting to see how the Hawks do without half of their depth players in the lineup (or as I call them, the Reason the Hawks won the Cup). Plus, as was pointed out on Twitter last night, the Hawks have won as many Cups in 84 years as the Wings have won in the last 13. So congrats on that.

To the Blackhawks, congratulations. You have shown that you are probably going to go down as the best One-And-Done Stanley Cup winning team in NHL history. I hope you enjoy being relegated to your rightful place of 2nd-best in the division next year. You see, that shiny silver trophy you have right now actually belongs to us; we're just lending it out to the rest of the league so they can get a taste for what it feels like to win before we take back what's ours. I'm looking forward to next year when the Hawks are the prey and the Wings their predator. It should make for a very interesting season. The only person happy last night in my house last night was my wife; no doors were punched or harmed in any way this year. At least that's something, right?

Stanley Cup Finals Preview

Here we are. After a long season filled with ups and downs, lefts and rights and a even a few diagonals, we have finally arrived at the start of the last series of the NHL season. From the moment the puck dropped between the Leafs and Canadiens, every fan has hoped that they will see their team rise above all others to be crowned Stanley Cup champions. Out of 30 teams, 2 remain, and they will begin their battle for hockey supremacy starting tomorrow night in Chicago. So, without further ado (and because there's nothing going on with the Wings right now), here is THITD's preview of the Stanley Cup Finals.

Goaltending - Wow. What a matchup we have here. Not since Roy vs Brodeur in 2001 have we seen 2 heavyweights square off head-to-head. 2 high-draft picks leading their teams to the.....wait, what? Neither goalie was highly sought-after coming out of junior or out of Europe? But I thought in order to win a Stanley Cup a team needed a top prospect to get this far. Huh, shows what I know about hockey. In this series we've got the rookie Antti Niemi going against the journeyman Michael Leighton. Both goalies have played extremely well, but now we're at the Big Dance, and we'll see who can step it up. Both goalies are facing less than 30 shots per game (on average), but Philly is facing a team that is much better offensively than anyone they've played so far. Still, Philly has beaten Martin Brodeur, Tukka Rask (who would be a Calder candidate if he played all season) and Jaroslav Halak, so they know what it takes to score on a hot goalie. I'll give a slight edge to Niemi, because he looks like a Russian gangster, and if there's one thing movies and TV have taught me, it's that you don't piss off the Russian mafia.
Advantage - Chicago

Defense - This is a closer matchup than people think. Too many people are talking about Duncan Keith, Brent Seabrook and Chris "Bring Da Noise, Bring Da Elbows" Pronger. But if you look at the rest of Philly's defense, it reminds me a lot of Detroit's, but in reverse. They've got a shutdown guy in Pronger paired with a solid two-way guy in Timonen (who has surprised me with how good he is). Then you've got Braydon Coburn on the 2nd pairing (who apparently can not be stopped, no matter what happens to him) paired with an offensive guy in Matt Carle. How will they fare against the top lines of the Hawks? There is speed back there, and we all know that Pronger can handle himself. On the Hawks, beyond the obvious pairing of Keith and Seabrook (as an aside, I like Keith. I don't normally like Hawks players, but there's something about Keith and the way he plays that I respect. Plus, any guy that can lose 7 teeth and still come back is all right in my books), you've got the $7 million dollar man Brian Campbell paired with Hjalmarsson and greasy-haired Brent Sopel logging important minutes on the 3rd pairing. Campbell's been pretty invisible this playoffs, but not ineffective, so I guess that's something. Still, there's nothing like paying 12.5% of your salary cap to your #3 defenseman. Overall, I like Philly's defense over the Hawks. I think Pronger is a beast back there, and has provided a presence on the blue line of the Flyers that has not been there since Eric Desjardins. The only team that had anyone that could have matched up with Byfuglien size-wise was the Sharks, but Fugly is too big to ass-check down (I'm looking at you, Rob Blake). Pronger can take him. I hope he does, because I can't stand to see a guy score a goal from 2 feet in front of the net and then stare down the opposing fans like he just went around the whole team. Advantage: Philly

Forwards - I think this is where the Hawks have the edge. As much as I can't stand them, the Hawks boast a lot of talent up front. The top line of Toews, Kane and Byfugly is pretty much unstoppable right now, and if they do get shut down, then the Hawks can throw out Sharp, Hossa and Bolland or Madden, Versteeg and Ladd. It's a little scary when your third line can score. Plus, if someone goes down, they can always throw Tomas Kopecky out there, a dangerous proposition for the Flyers. If anything can put the fear of God in me, it's an angry Tomas Kopecky. Barring something different happening in the Finals, Toews is the front-runner for the Conn Smythe, and he's another Hawk that I actually don't mind. He's the kind of guy that I say "boy, I wish he was on another team". He was great for Canada in the Olympics and has continued his strong play into the playoffs. He would scare me if I were a Flyers fan. I would also be scared of Patrick "20 Cent" Kane, but only because anyone who willingly looks like this has some severe issues; next thing you know he'll be graduating to more violent behaviour. If I were the Flyers, I would keep my head up at all times when Kaner's on the ice. The nice thing for the Hawks is that, even though the team as a whole is pretty young, Hossa's been in the Finals enough to make up for everyone else's lack of experience ten-fold. My advice to the Hawks forwards: whatever Hossa says you guys need to do to win, do the opposite. I'm just sayin'.
The Flyers don't exactly have a bunch of houseleaguers on their team. They are led by Pierre McGuire's favourite "monster" Mike Richards, and if you want to talk about guys keeping their heads up; the Hawks will be well served to know exactly when Richards is on the ice at all times, lest they end up like some of these guys. The Flyers have had scoring for a few years, and now Jeff Carter and Simon Gagne are healthy, Daniel Briere is playing up to his contract and Daniel Carcillo is....well, he's doing something out there. Claude Giroux scored a couple of nice goals against the Canadiens, and then there's everyone's favourite son, Ville Leino. Given up for dead by the Wings because of salary cap issues, Leino has been re-born in Philly, actually playing like, you know, what we all thought he could be. You can't blame lack of talent around him for his struggles in Detroit, because he was playing with Henrik Fucking Zetterberg, and I could score 20 goals playing with Hank. Who knows what happened, but Uncle Mike clearly lost interest in fair Ville, and he was shuffled off to Philly. You know what? I feel good for him. Leino was a guy that was expected to put up decent numbers this year, but I know I wasn't thinking he was going to challenge for the Rocket Richard trophy. 15-20 goals, 40-50 points, that's what I wanted from him. But then Franzen got hurt, and everyone thought that Leino was just going to pick up the Mule's slack in his absence, and when he didn't, we all got pissed off and called him a bust. I don't think that was fair to Leino (look how long it took for Franzen to develop into the player he is today), but I also don't think the Wings "gave up" on Leino either. They had to get Lilja into the lineup, and that meant sacrificing a forward. Unfortunately, Leino had to go. However, Leino did suck balls here in Detroit, so I think a portion of his playoff bonus should be paid back to the Wings for wasting our time this year (and yes, I realize I completely contradicted myself by saying that I wasn't expecting much from him and then getting on his case for not producing). Advantage - Chicago

Coaching - The 'stache vs.....well, I don't really have a nickname for Laviolette. Joel Quenneville, while not able to ever beat Detroit in the playoffs (ever - look it up), has quietly become one of the better coaches in the NHL. I know a lot of people here were very surprised when he was hired to be the Hawks' coach last year, but he's done a good job at making the Hawks a cohesive unit. Sure, trying to figure out what his lines will be is as easy as figuring out
certain math problems. But Q has always struck me as a guy that got a lot out of his players, even if those players stunk. This is a guy that won a President's Trophy with Roman Turek as his goalie - clearly he's got some coaching talent. But, this is his first real kick at the can, as he's never coached in the Finals before, and he's going against a guy that took a largely underrated team (the Hurricanes) all the way in 2006 in Laviolette. I'll be honest - I don't know a lot about Laviolette, since I mostly pay attention to the Western Conference. I know he won the Cup in 2006, but that's about it. One thing struck me when checking him out, and that is that he took the Islanders to the playoffs. Clearly, if he can do that, he is some sort of coaching prodigy. He seems to be playing the part of Dan Bylsma this year - taking a talented-yet-underachieving team from the depths of the East all the way to the Finals. Given that he's had 19 starting goalies to work with this year, I'd say he's done a pretty good job. Advantage - Flyers

So, what does all that mean? I don't know. I'm horrible at picking series. I know I didn't post anything, but in the first round I went 5 for 8, in the second round I went 1 for 4, and in the third round I went 1 for 2 (the only team I have consistently gotten right is the Hawks). I've already given my opinion on who I am cheering for, but I never said who I thought would win. Much like with the Wings-Sharks series, my heart is leaning one way but my head is screaming something different. With the Wings, I went with my heart; I've learned my lesson. My official pick is Hawks in 6, only because I hope that if they do win the Cup, it's not in front of their legions of bandwagon fans. I've always lived by the old adage: hope for the best but for prepare for the worst. That pretty much sums up how I feel about this series.

Go Flyers!!

Let's Go Philly?

So the Blackhawks are in the Finals. Lord save us. I can not think of another result that wasn’t Red Wing-related that pissed me off so much. Watching that game yesterday, I had the sense that the Hawks were going to inevitably tie the game up and win, much in the same way I knew the Sharks were going to win Game 5 against the Wings. As soon as the empty netter was scored, I turned the game off; there was no way I wanted to see the Hawks celebrate getting closer to winning the Stanley Cup.

First, a note to the Sharks: seriously? That was the team that beat the Wings 4 out of 5 times? I can’t believe that. Now, I can’t say with any certainty that the Wings would have beaten the Hawks 4 out of 7 times. But I do know one thing: they would have won a FUCKING GAME! Talk about rolling over and dying. At no point in any game during this series did I get the sense that the Sharks belonged here. They were awful in every aspect. And to every journalist who wrote about Jumbo Joe shedding his “choker” label, I better see some retractions, because he was absolutely invisible in this series.

Back to the Hawks. I can’t say I’m surprised they are in the Finals. They are a great team full of young superstars that is getting exceptional goaltending at the right time. They have eliminated the #1 and #3 seeds in the West, and will be huge favourites to win the Cup.

And I fucking hate them.

I can’t stand the Blackhawks. There are two obvious reasons for that. The first is that they are a major rival of the Red Wings. The second is that they are the home team. If you’ve ever lived in another team’s city, especially a rival, you know what I am talking about. You already hate the team, but because of where you live, you are forced to get coverage of them beyond the national media. It sucks. But, beyond those reasons, there are a couple of other factors that feed my hate of the Hawks.

The first is Patrick Kane. JJ from Kansas said that Kane was the Crosby of the Western Conference, and I tend to agree with that statement. As we discussed, the problem is that Kane gets a pass for his shit while Crosby is vilified if he farts on the ice. But, therein lies the difference between Kane and Crosby: all of Crosby’s antics (the diving, whining, cross-checking, speedbagging the opponent’s balls) are on the ice, while Kane is best remembered for beating up a Buffalo cab driver because of a dispute over 20 cents. I will take a player who is a douche but is a douche on the ice over a player that is an idiot off the ice: the former speaks to the guy as a player, while the latter speaks to him as a person. It’s a shame that all of the real jerks in the NHL (Crosby, Corey Perry, Chris Pronger) have all won Cups, and it looks like Kane is going to get one too: I hope they don’t present the Cup in the Hawks defensive zone, because Kane will not know where that is.

The second reason is the fact that, for as much as the Hawks talk about hating the Wings, they are the Wings. They play the same style, are coached the same way, get the same type of players; they even hired Scotty Bowman away from us. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery: I say that they are still the Little Brother that can’t match what Big Brother has done on their own, so they try and copy everything we do so that they can try and be half as successful as us. But, there’s a big difference between what the Wings have done and what the Blackhawks have done: the Wings never had to suck balls for 10 years and rack up high draft picks to stay competitive. We have seen the Wings stay at or near the top of the NHL for the last 20 years, while the Blackhawks have been garbage for a while up until the last 2-3 years. Consider this: since the lockout, the Wings have been to the Finals twice; the Blackhawks have been to the PLAYOFFS twice in that same time frame. Oh, and the Wings split the season series this year with the Hawks even though they were injured and supposed to be in a “rebuilding” year. I love reminding Hawks fans about that.

Hawks fans. Good Lord, are there Hawks fans now. There are people who are now sporting their Hawk hats and growing playoff beards and talking about how Toews and Kane are awesome and they can’t wait for Niemi to be here and win 5 Cups with them. Are you fucking kidding me? I went to the grocery store the other day and saw 6 people wearing Hawks shit. I can guarantee that of those 6 people, 5 of them couldn’t name one player on the Hawks 5 years ago. Further, in this grocery store, 5 years ago I could probably have found 1 or 2 things with the Hawks logo on it: now there’s shit everywhere. This city has hopped on the bandwagon, and done so very quickly. But, God forbid you say that the fans are there because the Hawks are good: to hear them talk, it was all Bill Wirtz’ fault. He was a terrible owner, and he certainly got in the way of the Hawks being good; I think when they did succeed, it was in spite of him, not because of him. But, the reason the fans came back was not because he died; it’s because they had players like Toews and Kane and Keith that were good, and the team got better. If the team had continued to suck, the fans would still not be going to the games. A couple of stories from my own experience to illustrate this: about 4 years ago, my father-in-law called me on a Thursday and asked if I wanted to go to the Hawks game. I asked him who was playing, and he said they were playing the Wings. Naturally, I said yes, and we were able to get tickets ON THE DAY OF THE GAME that were in the 300 level at centre ice. The building was about ¾ full for the Wings, which never happened. Now, they sell out every game and the fans think this shows how supportive they are. The second story concerns a co-worker of mine. 3 years ago after the Hawks got Toews and Kane, they played the Wings very early in the season (it may have been the first game, I can’t remember). That was the game where Kane scored the SO winner against Hasek. The next day at work, a co-worker came up to me and said “saw the Hawks beat the Wings last night” and proceeded to talk shit. Being the kind of guy I am, I brought up the fact that the Wings were probably tired of beating the Hawks, seeing as how they had done it 15 of the last 16 times. It was then that he said “I don’t like hockey. I was just busting your balls because the Wings lost and I know you are a Wings fan”. Fast forward 3 years; this same co-worker was at the game yesterday texting pictures from the game and talking about how awesome the Hawks are and how excited he is the Hawks are going to the Finals. I have secretly renamed this guy “Exhibit A” because of how he personifies the way this city has gotten behind the Hawks.

If anyone local reads this blog and is upset at what I wrote, I don’t really care. I can’t stand the Hawks, because of one final thing: their identity is not based on their love of the Hawks, but of their hatred of the Wings. They are like White Sox fans (another team and fanbase I can’t stand); Sox fans spend more time hating the Cubs than liking the Sox. I can’t understand that mentality, as I have always been a “cheer for your team” kind of guy. You see on blogs like Second City Hockey that they won’t talk about the Wings by name: they call the Wings “Scum”. Really? You hate the team that much that you have to call them some sort of derogatory nickname like that? You know why Hawks’ fans act like this? Jealousy. Don’t let any of them tell you different; if the shoe were on the other foot, Hawks fans would be all over us telling us how we wish our team could be as good as the Hawks have been for the last 15 years.

There are a few saving graces for me; things that make me smile and keep me sane. I love knowing that even if the Hawks do win the Cup, the team will have to be blown up in the off-season because of all the dumb-fuck contracts given out to idiots like Hossa*, Campbell and Huet. I hope Hawks fans enjoyed seeing Byfugly and Sharp, because it’s almost a guarantee they are gone; so is their goalie. Quenneville still has never beaten the Red Wings in a playoff series, and I know that deep down, Hawks fans are pissed that they didn’t get a chance to play the Wings this year in the playoffs. They know that we can still point out that they have not beaten us to win the Cup, and until they do, they are still our bitch. Hell, even when they won the division this year, they didn’t beat us in the season series. As of this writing, it looks like it’s going to be a Philly-Chicago Finals, so I am going to do what any self-respecting Red Wing fan will do – get updates from Twitter and hope that somehow, someway, no one wins the Cup this year.

* Speaking of Hossa, what a colossal waste of money that guy has been for the Hawks. He missed half of the year with a shoulder injury, then didn’t do much this season, and has a whole 2 goals in the playoffs. My father-in-law said that he is a two-way player; two-way players still score goals once in a while. I think I may make a graph charting that as Hossa’s contribution has decreased, his teams have done more. What really chaps my ass is that, despite his disappearing act, he is in the Finals for a third consecutive year. Un-fucking-believeable. I wonder what he’ll do if he loses; I’m thinking suicide watch.